Radishes and Marmite
by cruentus-luna
Summary: It’s the heat of the battle and suddenly everyone freezes to listen to the strange noise…where did it come from? what could it be? Why, Harry’s phone of course! HPDM slash. Don't like...well then..don't read!


Cruentus-luna: Please note that English is not my first language so I apologize in advance for all the grammatical and spelling mistakes I will make…Ok, so maybe I was a tiny bit sugar high when I wrote this…scratch that maybe a lot!

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

Genre: Humor, with a tint of romance…not really

Warnings: SLASH, stupidness, weirdness

Rating: PG

Pairing: Harry/Draco (duh)

Archive: FF.N

Reviews: Gimme gimme gimmeeeeeeeee !

Title: Radishes and marmite

Author: cruentus-luna

Summary: It's the heat of the battle and suddenly everyone freezes to listen to the strange noise…where did it come from? what could it be? Why, Harry's phone of course!

Chapter: 1/1 (after this you people would be thinking, 'oh thank god!')

* * *

Harry dodged a deadly looking mud brown curse and with a flick of his wand, sent his attacker to the ground.

He bright green eyes darted around…6 aurors and around 20 or so more wizards that were trying to kick their asses to the twenty-third circle of hell… piece of cake.

He sent another curse at the man who was busy being distracted by his ass and sent the perv bouncing his merry way out of the window.

And that was when the tune of 'Axel F' ala crazy frog started to play.

Everyone just paused, and looked around the see where the sound had come from.

Harry took the opportunity to turn one of the confused thieves into a shocking pink butterfly and to smile apologetically at his colleagues.

They rolled their eyes and continued with their business, they already knew who it would be from.

"Hello?" Harry answered distractedly as he avoided several ominous looking curses that were flying his way. Unfortunately he got hit by one and started tap dancing erratically.

The pink butterfly started fluttering wildly around his head and tried to fly up his nose.

Harry sneezed.

"Oh Harry! Thank Merlin you picked up!"

With his newfound tap dancing skill he managed to trod on several of his enemies toes which in turn caused them to howl in pain and also (conveniently enough) created an opening for his comrades to pull the final blows.

"Draco, honey, I'm sort of busy right now," he paused and blinked at the indignantly squawking flying ostrich that missed him by a hair, "can it wait?"

Wait. Was that Ron?

"Oh but Harry!" came the wail that was heard across the stadium sized room, "I've been having this absolute craving for radishes with marmite but I can't find any radishes _anywhere_!"

Harry turned faint shade of green at the thought. He sighed, "baby, I don't think that would be very good for your health but I thought we were growing some radishes in the garden?"

A delighted squeal was heard, Harry dodged a sparkly orange curse, "oh! Thank you so much love! I'll make a nice dinner if you would just drop by at the store to get a few things I need for it. Have you got a pen and paper?"

Harry looked around the room, various torture items, cackling skulls and pickled eyeballs were all to be seen. He hollered out to the world in general, "Hey! Any of you got a pen and paper?" he received no answer.

A purple duck was flung across the room.

Several more curses headed his way and to avoid them, he managed to twist his body into a shape that would put any gymnast to shame. "Nope," he said panting for breath as he pulled his limbs back into their normal places. He then swiveled around and punched an advancing wizard in the nose, "but I'm sure I'll remember."

He cursed as he accidentally dropped his wand and quickly stepped on it to stop it rolling away, "well…" he heard Draco say, "If you're sure…" and with that he started rattling off all the ingredients that he would need.

Meanwhile Harry was cursing his luck as his wand got stuck on a piece of gum that he happened to step on sometime during the fight. He was sure to murmur a couple of 'humhum, yup, I'll be sure to get that's every few seconds.

"I think that's it," he heard over the phone, "be home before 7 tonight," Draco said in a strict, reproachful tone. "We haven't spent enough time together lately. Love you."  
Harry thought of the days spent curled up together on the couch, picnics in the park, the ice-cream he made for them to eat together yesterday and how this was his first time out of the house in 6 days.

'We really haven't been spending enough time together,' he thought guiltily.

"Love you too," he said, albeit a bit distractedly. He gave a small cry of triumph when he finally managed to dislodge his wand from his shoe and muttered a couple more spells at the wizards that were heading towards him.

"Guys, hurry it up! I need to be home early today. Husband's orders." he bellowed to his team.

After all he needed to find a grocery store and take strategic guesses at what to buy…which would take quite a bit of time.

'Radishes and marmite,' he laughed to himself, 'Draco's really had the strangest cravings ever since he's gotten pregnant.'

* * *

CL: Hmm, nice and totally pointless story.

Lets just say I'm in an odd mood and leave it at that gg

Oh and feedback of coarse…don't forger the feedback ;D

…I am so odd…


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